Can We Talk?

Sadly, the answer to that question is, "No, not much."

Let me explain. Yesterday was a normal day. I took care of some business, ran errands and walked the dog. It was a normal day with one disturbing exception--people wanted to talk to me. This is odd because I can sometimes go several days at a time without engaging in so much as simple pleasantries with other people, but yesterday was quite different. People actually wanted to converse, much to my dismay.

I am not anti-social. I love to talk to people. But I have a horrible secret to share with you...my Spanish sucks.

If I do happen to have an involved conversation with someone, it generally requires they speak a modicum of English. Not yesterday. Not one person could summon up a word of my native language. What did I do to deserve this? And it didn't seem to matter to anyone that all I could offer up were a few awkwardly chosen words and phrases--it must have been excruciating to hear. But it didn't seem to matter. They just kept talking.

Luckily my comprehension level has advanced well beyond my language skills. I found myself nodding a great deal and threw out what I hoped was an appropriate word or two when it was my turn to speak.

My favorite exchange came about while I was taking the dog for her afternoon walk. In the distance, I spotted an impeccably dressed older woman walking her strange looking terrier. I have seen her a number of times in the park and we recently started waving greetings to each other from afar. But yesterday, I caught her out of the corner of my eye moving slowly towards me. Before I knew it, we were toe to toe, dog to dog and face to face.

It just so happens this was one of the coldest days so far this winter and I was dressed like I had just set out on the Iditarod. She was dressed, as always, in a fashionable coat, sweater, skirt and a really nifty little pair of shoes.

She started speaking and I immediately broke into my patented apology for my lousy Spanish, which didn't seem to deter her. Standing in the bitter cold wind, we established where I lived, where she lived and for how long, what floors we live on, where I was from, where she was from, our dog's names and ages, how she was looking forward to spring and that California must be a wonderful place as she had seen it in movies. In my broken Spanish I asked if we could possibly take coffee together sometime soon.

I don't know if it was the bone chilling cold or the ten minute conversation in Spanish, but by the end of our chat, I had a screaming headache. Learning Spanish hurts.

All in all, I enjoyed the day. And I think we may be taking coffee soon.

Baby Wipes and the Residency Process

I am by no means an expert on the residency process, but having been through a good part of it, I do have a several tips and can recommend a couple of websites that will point you in the right direction. I'll get to the baby wipes in a minute.

This is a brief description of the steps involved and items you will need for permanent residency: (information thanks to Uruguay: The Owner's Manual by International Living):

• Letter of Intent for Immigration
• Several passport photos
• Copies of passport
  
• Criminal background check. (You can obtain this at Interpol in Montevideo)
  
• Evidence of financial means of support
• Legalized birth and marriage certificates
  
• Uruguayan health certificate (requires a simple physical and dental checkup)
  
• Copy of your entry "card" (that slip of paper you receive upon entering the country) We did not receive one and it wasn't a major obstacle.
• All documents and certificates translated into Spanish by a escribano(a).
  
• The above items turned over to immigration with a copy of your passport

Here are a few things you can do before your move to expedite the residency process once you arrive:

1. Obtain official documentation of your monthly income (wage records, mutual fund documents, Social Security statement, pensions information, etc.)
2. Get certified (authenticated) copies (with seal) of your birth and marriage certificates from the county of origin.
   
3. The above certificates must be legalized by the appropriate Uruguayan consulate in the United States. Check the Uruguayan Consular's website for a list of U.S. offices and the zone they represent.
   
4. Women between the ages of 21-65 are required to present results of a current pap smear and mammogram in order to receive a health certificate.
   

It is best to perform numbers 2 and 3 prior to your move. The logistics of these steps would make it extremely difficult to do long distance.

I would recommend hiring an relocation consultant prior to your move. These folks know how to get things done and are very helpful, especially if Spanish is not your first language. They will work with the escribano, set up appointments and serve as translator in addition to following your residency paperwork trail. Your best bet is to do an online search, interview to two or three and check the Uruguay Living forum for references.

Finally, the baby wipes. Right before our immigration "appointment" in Maldonado, our relocation consultant said he had to make a quick stop at the farmacia. He strolled out with a package of baby wipes. I didn't question it, I thought maybe he was doing a favor for a friend.

It became abundantly clear when the immigration official completed my paperwork (on a manual typewriter), ushered me into a back room and proceeded to roll copious amounts of gloppy, gooey, India ink onto my fingers. No inkless fingerprint pads here. Also no soap and water. The Interpol experience was virtually identical.

In the past four months I have learned the importance of research, of the unique nature of Latin bureaucracy and the virtue of patience. But ultimately, the best advice I can impart is to bring a super-size package of baby wipes to your immigration and Interpol appointments. And don't forget to leave the rest of the pack behind for the next messy soul.

Read All About It!

I have never been into shameless self-promotion, but considering I am a blogger and budding freelance writer it has become apparent I need to take advantage of any opportunity to toot my own horn. So here goes...

I am pleased to announce I am officially a published author! I submitted a travel article on Montevideo to Associated Content and recently received word that my work was accepted and I will actually be paid for my trouble!
Now here's where you come in. I received a token upfront payment, but I am also paid based on traffic to my content. In other words, each time a different person clicks my article, I receive a small (and I mean small!) payment. Only one view per person (or computer.) To earn a meager income from this particular content, I need THOUSANDS of content views.

Surely you can understand the importance of this for a starving artist! Please, please, please forward the url to everyone you know and tell them to check out my article (explain to them it's a favor for an eccentric friend in South America. By the way, I think you and they will actually enjoy reading it!) You can even register as my "fan", post a comment or add me to your "favorites" on Associated Content's website.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1855217/visit_montevideo_uruguay_as_an_alternative.html

I will keep you updated on my progress and additional articles as they are published in cyberspace. Thanks for your help!

Mate: A Drink for All Seasons

In case you were wondering, the image in my blog banner is that of maté gourds. Maté (mah'tay) is a South American tea, if you will, prepared by steeping the dried leaves of yerba maté in hot water (in the gourd) and sipping the infusion from the gourd from a silver straw or bombilla (bom'beesha.)

Yerba maté is a species of holly that is native to parts of Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay, Chile and Brazil. The origins of the use of maté in South America is attributed to the ancient Guarani indians. Legend popularized the plant and described yerba maté as a magical herb providing strength, promoting health and nurturing friendships. As word spread, the popularity of maté grew and the herbal infusion became the main ingredient of many home medical curatives. Today, the yerba maté is dried and chopped into a somewhat powdery mixture that is sold in bags (just like coffee) and available at any market. Grocery stores even feature a maté aisle.

Maté contains virtually the same chemical stimulants found in coffee and chocolate. It's effects are said to be quite similar, which probably explains why you see people sipping the beverage at all times of the day. It is unique in that people carry their maté accoutrement (yerba maté, thermos, gourd and straw) with them in a leather case with a shoulder strap.) The beverage is generally consumed in a social setting -- although I have seen solitary drinkers walking in the mall, strolling the Rambla and at their desks in an office setting. More common is the practice of sharing the maté with friends and acquaintances.

The preparation and consumption of the drink is as much ceremony as it is science. Here is my simplistic description of the process:

One person (generally the owner of the thermos and gourd) is designated as the preparer and server. The maté gourd is filled to about 2/3 capacity. The gourd is covered with the palm of the hand, inverted and shaken for a few seconds. This action brings the finer yerba toward the top of the maté. It is further shaken to move the maté along one side of the gourd. A small amount of tepid water is poured into the emptier side and the water is allowed to absorb into the yerba maté. The straw in inserted into that spot, so the wider end touches the bottom of the gourd. The gourd is then filled with hot water from the thermos, steeped and is sipped by the host. The server refills the gourd with hot water and passes it to another person, who in turn drinks the contents. The gourd is passed from server to drinkers until the hot water from the thermos is gone. Yummy!

I have yet to try maté. They say it's an acquired taste reminiscent of dried grass clippings (not sure how you would know) or a cross between green tea and coffee. I think for now I will stick to coffee!