Songbirds of Montevideo

Yes, it is springtime in Montevideo. The days are gently warming, the trees are budding, the flowers are blooming and the birds are singing sweet songs to usher in the new season. I was just reading that Uruguay is known as the Kingdom of the Birds. There are over 400 beautiful and unusual species residing in this country, but one in particular is most notorious--known to the locals as the official songbird of Montevideo.


They never migrate. They are omnipresent. Their maddening call pierces the night air and echoes throughout the day. I am convinced they must mate at an alarming rate. It seems hundreds of new birds hatch each day and join the cacophony of the city. If I may, I would would to try to recreate their high-pitched, high-decibel shrieking:

Ooowee! Ooowee! Ooowee! Weeooo! Weeooo! Weeooo! Eeeee! Eeeee! Eeeee! Whooeep! Whooeep! Whooeep! Beeeep! Beeeep! Beeeep!

This sequence repeats until the creature either gets tired or dies, I'm not sure which. We recently listened to one screech for 18 hours straight. This one didn't tire or die. A passerby finally reached the breaking point and killed it.

These birds prefer to nest in crowded parking garages (unfortunately our apartment happens to back up to one of the busiest in town.) When one chirps, they all join in and at times, the air is filled with nothing but their frenzied twittering.

This species is not native to the region. Their introduction to the country was somewhat of a government mandate. They were imported in great numbers to protect the citizens of Montevideo from an increase in theft. However, as with most government-sponsored solutions, this one is completely out of hand. There is no solution to the solution that has become a huge problem. I would even do my part if officials called for a mass extermination of these useless creatures.

Before you get your PETA panties in a knot, the songbirds I refer to are of the genus autophila alarmica--the common car alarm.

The good news is, the din from the two construction sites directly adjacent to our apartment building has all but eclipsed the sound of the songbirds. It gets better. Our lease isn't up for another six months. Ain't life a kick in the pants?

A Day en el Campo

I am remiss in not updating you on our adventures in South America. Frankly, life is getting in the way these days. I have been busy earning a buck or two writing freelance web articles and taking informal Spanish lessons twice a week from a very patient friend. However, today I thought I would take a break and tell you about our trip to the country last week.

Several months ago, I was in the little market in our building and approached an English speaking couple from Texas. We chatted briefly and subsequently joined them for dinner, learning they were in the process of building two houses outside a small town (La Mariscala) about 2 1/2 hours northeast of Montevideo in the Department of Lavalleja. One of their sons is living in Uruguay full time and will supervise the construction, the husband is currently on an overseas business assignment and the wife is splitting her her time between here and the US until the houses are built.

She was in town again recently for a couple of weeks and invited us to tag along for a trip to their property and to visit a working estancia owned by Uruguayan friends. Considering we don't own a car and were suffering from cabin fever as a result of the chilly winter, we jumped at the chance for a change of scenery, delightful company and the opportunity to breathe fresh air (I'm not implying Montevideo is congested and polluted, I'm flat out admitting it.)

The scenery on the drive up reminded me of the landscape around southern California--low rolling mountains (the locals refer to them as cerros--hills, to us gringos), groves of eucalyptus and wild palm trees. This particular part of the Uruguay is primarily ranch land dotted with an appropriate amount of gauchos, horses, cattle and sheep.

We pulled off the main highway outside of Mariscala and onto a well maintained dirt road and arrived a few minutes later at their property. We were immediately taken with an impressive stand of large trees that are home to wild green parrots (I actually heard and saw one, but wasn't quick enough on the trigger to snap a picture.)

We wandered about enjoying the sunny day, admiring the beautiful countryside and checking out the two inviting streams that wind their way through the property.

After surveying the land, we grabbed a quick bite to eat at Mariscala's main 24-hour hangout, Restaurante El Rancho--part truck stop, bus stop, parrillada and local watering hole--for a plate of papas fritas and barbequed chicken (chicken seasoned with lemon, garlic, green olives and red bell peppers and grilled over a wood fire. Quite tasty.)

Then it was off to the estancia to make new acquaintances and learn about rural life in Uruguay. Plenty of horses, cattle, dogs, sheep and pigs on roughly 325 hectares. We even witnessed a sheep shearing by a gaucho called "Gaucho". I had a marvelous time hanging out with all the critters. Aren't these piglets just the sweetest? We named them "Bacon" and "Sausage". Makes me want to give up pork. Someday. Maybe.

Before long, it was time to hop in the car for the journey back to the big city and a rendevous with our little dog who was none too happy spending the day by herself in the apartment. The good news is we have an open invitation to visit the country any time and bring poochie along for the ride.

I am looking forward to visiting our friends in the country once their compound is completed. I'm not much of a country girl, so it is doubtful I'll be riding a horse or anything like that, but I do think I could easily adjust to spending a lazy summer afternoon by the stream, sipping a cold beer and listening to the chatter of the parrots. La buena vida.

Can We Talk?

Sadly, the answer to that question is, "No, not much."

Let me explain. Yesterday was a normal day. I took care of some business, ran errands and walked the dog. It was a normal day with one disturbing exception--people wanted to talk to me. This is odd because I can sometimes go several days at a time without engaging in so much as simple pleasantries with other people, but yesterday was quite different. People actually wanted to converse, much to my dismay.

I am not anti-social. I love to talk to people. But I have a horrible secret to share with you...my Spanish sucks.

If I do happen to have an involved conversation with someone, it generally requires they speak a modicum of English. Not yesterday. Not one person could summon up a word of my native language. What did I do to deserve this? And it didn't seem to matter to anyone that all I could offer up were a few awkwardly chosen words and phrases--it must have been excruciating to hear. But it didn't seem to matter. They just kept talking.

Luckily my comprehension level has advanced well beyond my language skills. I found myself nodding a great deal and threw out what I hoped was an appropriate word or two when it was my turn to speak.

My favorite exchange came about while I was taking the dog for her afternoon walk. In the distance, I spotted an impeccably dressed older woman walking her strange looking terrier. I have seen her a number of times in the park and we recently started waving greetings to each other from afar. But yesterday, I caught her out of the corner of my eye moving slowly towards me. Before I knew it, we were toe to toe, dog to dog and face to face.

It just so happens this was one of the coldest days so far this winter and I was dressed like I had just set out on the Iditarod. She was dressed, as always, in a fashionable coat, sweater, skirt and a really nifty little pair of shoes.

She started speaking and I immediately broke into my patented apology for my lousy Spanish, which didn't seem to deter her. Standing in the bitter cold wind, we established where I lived, where she lived and for how long, what floors we live on, where I was from, where she was from, our dog's names and ages, how she was looking forward to spring and that California must be a wonderful place as she had seen it in movies. In my broken Spanish I asked if we could possibly take coffee together sometime soon.

I don't know if it was the bone chilling cold or the ten minute conversation in Spanish, but by the end of our chat, I had a screaming headache. Learning Spanish hurts.

All in all, I enjoyed the day. And I think we may be taking coffee soon.

Baby Wipes and the Residency Process

I am by no means an expert on the residency process, but having been through a good part of it, I do have a several tips and can recommend a couple of websites that will point you in the right direction. I'll get to the baby wipes in a minute.

This is a brief description of the steps involved and items you will need for permanent residency: (information thanks to Uruguay: The Owner's Manual by International Living):

• Letter of Intent for Immigration
• Several passport photos
• Copies of passport
  
• Criminal background check. (You can obtain this at Interpol in Montevideo)
  
• Evidence of financial means of support
• Legalized birth and marriage certificates
  
• Uruguayan health certificate (requires a simple physical and dental checkup)
  
• Copy of your entry "card" (that slip of paper you receive upon entering the country) We did not receive one and it wasn't a major obstacle.
• All documents and certificates translated into Spanish by a escribano(a).
  
• The above items turned over to immigration with a copy of your passport

Here are a few things you can do before your move to expedite the residency process once you arrive:

1. Obtain official documentation of your monthly income (wage records, mutual fund documents, Social Security statement, pensions information, etc.)
2. Get certified (authenticated) copies (with seal) of your birth and marriage certificates from the county of origin.
   
3. The above certificates must be legalized by the appropriate Uruguayan consulate in the United States. Check the Uruguayan Consular's website for a list of U.S. offices and the zone they represent.
   
4. Women between the ages of 21-65 are required to present results of a current pap smear and mammogram in order to receive a health certificate.
   

It is best to perform numbers 2 and 3 prior to your move. The logistics of these steps would make it extremely difficult to do long distance.

I would recommend hiring an relocation consultant prior to your move. These folks know how to get things done and are very helpful, especially if Spanish is not your first language. They will work with the escribano, set up appointments and serve as translator in addition to following your residency paperwork trail. Your best bet is to do an online search, interview to two or three and check the Uruguay Living forum for references.

Finally, the baby wipes. Right before our immigration "appointment" in Maldonado, our relocation consultant said he had to make a quick stop at the farmacia. He strolled out with a package of baby wipes. I didn't question it, I thought maybe he was doing a favor for a friend.

It became abundantly clear when the immigration official completed my paperwork (on a manual typewriter), ushered me into a back room and proceeded to roll copious amounts of gloppy, gooey, India ink onto my fingers. No inkless fingerprint pads here. Also no soap and water. The Interpol experience was virtually identical.

In the past four months I have learned the importance of research, of the unique nature of Latin bureaucracy and the virtue of patience. But ultimately, the best advice I can impart is to bring a super-size package of baby wipes to your immigration and Interpol appointments. And don't forget to leave the rest of the pack behind for the next messy soul.